My son is my son is my son.

About a month ago today, my oldest son told his father and I he was gay. We were having lunch to celebrate (mourn?) his departure for New York the following day – off to start his own life. Neither one of us had seen that coming. But, looking back, we aren’t totally shocked either. Our reaction was pretty much: We just love you and want you to be happy. I was pretty emotional though, and I still get a bit emotional when I think about it. Not because I am in any way sad for the truth of it, nor because I wish it was different. I had/have a mother’s reaction: did you go through this by yourself? How did you cope without a mother to help you through any fears you may have had? I take comfort in knowing that he had a solid group of friends who supported him through this. I do not know of him ever being afraid to be himself. He is a confident young man.

That afternoon and in the days following, I found myself telling every gay friend and relative I have. What is this strange reaction? Why did I feel the need to tell them first? Or at all? I’m not sure. I do know that I am now starting to think that it is akin to calling every blonde friend you have and telling them: wow! my daughter just told me she’s really a blonde!

In a perfect world, at least, that’s how it should be.

Sunday Morning Achievement Report!

 

 

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Molsan, Pancake, and I showed up bright eyed and bushy tailed at the correct time and polished off the Heroic Stormstout Brewery achievements required for Glory of the Pandaria Raider this morning. Success! We even tossed hammers into the rafters, since Pancake didn’t have that one yet. Actually, Molsan did the hammer tossing. I tried to keep hoplings away from him. With such great success and time to spare, we decided to head to the Jade Temple to give Hydrophobia a go! Woot! There’s a Salty online!  We all failed miserably at this one again. I think I might resort to ninjaing it with a PUG.

So, off to Scholomance we go. The Barov Helper failed to help Salty and Pancake get that achievement, but the important thing was to try to get School’s Out Forever.  I think I’ll let the pictures speak:

Optimism is high.

Optimism is High. Note Naeemmanti has been recruited as well.

 

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Alas.

Yup – gotta say it

Blizzcon2013_Strumpet101-5

People often describe me as ‘nice’. It’s an adjective that often puzzles me. But I can see how they perceive me that way. I keep my opinions of people pretty much to myself and a select group of friends who know how I really feel. Maybe it’s left over from high school when I was scared of being unpopular. Maybe I have a misguided ‘need to please’ that society has told me ‘good girls’ have. Maybe I just hate when people say mean stuff.

Today, that changes. Well. A little bit anyway.

Twitter and WoW: when did it become such a clique? Full of mean girls and boys who dictate appropriate reactions and opinions? I used to just like to tweet ‘look at me’ stuff about the game I love and see some funny stuff once in a while. Then, somehow, I became part of the ‘community’ – ugh. I have a YT channel, I’m vocally supportive with contributions to podcasts of friends. And I talk. A lot.

I don’t think any clique I’ve ever seen before has been as insidious, self-righteous, and harmful. If you don’t think Chris Metzen suffers from white privilege, check your vagina at the door, please! If you don’t think Pat Krane is the bees’ knees (I’ve met him, he’s actually pretty cool), gasp! And goodness to gracious if you should insinuate that some people are not quite as open/upfront/generous/giving as they appear! I’ve been terrified of saying anything of the sort – well, not in texts and dm’s. There I say plenty.

There are a lot of podcasters with genuinely amazing production value that try to make a bit of money. And, contrary to some of my best friends, I think that’s just fine. As long as everyone is IN ON THAT. And there are podcasters with amazing entertainment and production value who refuse to take cash. I wish they would sometimes, but it’s never going to happen. There are also podcasts that I have helped out in the past because I know the people who produce the show are hard working adults struggling at times to make ends meet and they don’t make a big song and dance about it; they just keep plugging along as best they can. I help out sometimes because it’s how I choose to spend my money.

But there’s another sort. There are a few people who need ‘help’ to get to BlizzCon – later seen by me LADEN with bags in the BlizzCon store. There are people who need thousands to upgrade their internet provider’s speeds. I’m pretty sure you could upload a podcast at the library – although I’m not sure, and it would take a while. But it’s the ‘I just need a little help getting by’ that is insinuated. Time and time again. And people THROW money at them. Witness our favorite hottest cosplayers reporter, Gamebreaker TV.

Maybe people want to believe in sad stories. Maybe people want to believe others would help THEM if they were in need. But they are blind/deaf to so many things that don’t add up.

AND I think some people who have been so clever with their choice of subject matter. Like me, love me, support me, and I will MENTION you. Oh the dominos effect!! Who doesn’t want to see their name in lights? Well, some people don’t, but you know. And who would want to antagonize speak out against the person who has the power of the LIST. The news. The mention. Now, I know you all know I’ve zero’ed in here – and I’m going to try to be fair. Some of the things Realm Maintenance has put together have been ASTONISHINGLY cool. Yearly maintenance for example. The show was also a huge supporter of All Pets Allowed last year. It feels a little like the gossip columnist who has a little something on everyone and ‘be nice or I’ll leave you out’. Maybe I’m reading it wrong. But I have felt this way for a while. Saying something negative or slightly questioning anything Realm Maintenance does  gets the smack down. Like if you deny that racism exists. No, I don’t think I’m overreacting. He has ENORMOUS power over ‘the community’. Lovely bunch.

I often have discussions with a friend you all know and love about this sort of thing. I believe people are adult enough to make their own minds up about what to do with their cash. So, I try not to point out weird ‘for charity’ t-shirt sales. People are grownups. Mostly. My friend feels very strongly the opposite. He has for over a year now been struggling with whether to take a public stand. It’s certainly not a new reaction.

And, Rho’s post on Friday was, for him, the point when he could not continue holding back his opinion. Sorry, buddy, I know you don’t want me to speak for you. But I HATE seeing you vilified. People will have to decide for themselves where the truth lies in this story. Personally, I have a hard time with a lot of the story but I don’t pretend to have all the facts in front of me. I know the support without question troubles me from people who do not know any more than I do. I know it troubles me that this man could be persecuted for something that is not true. But I will let that be between Rho, the courts, and his friends and his heart.

But I WILL NOT let the clique tell me what to think, and what our reaction should be. I will not.

Quality of Life Improvements

Blue Palace Zen

This week, I have made two changes to try to improve my personal quality of life.

1) I am consciously limiting my Twitter presence during the course of the day.  I haven’t set any specific rules on this, other than forcing myself to not read EVERY tweet since I was last on (inevitably, this would take close to an hour every morning – sheesh!). Instead I have made a list of 10 people whose Tweets I do not wish to miss, and I check that instead. Also, no checking Twitter while watching a TV program, and never at lunch.  This has led to a HUGE reduction of time wasted.

2) I must read for at LEAST 35 uninterrupted minutes a day. I used to read CONTINUALLY. ALL THE TIME. At some point, I lost this. I still read while on vacation, but have a really hard time choosing to read a book or a newspaper/magazine article while at home. So, every day this week, I have set the timer, moved FAR AWAY from my phone or tablet, and read on my Kindle (no social media access on the Kindle). So nice. So so so so nice.

I have other changes I want to make, but, in my experience, making too many drastic changes at once inevitably leads to failure. So these two only for another week at least.

The Child Leaves Home – Chapter 2

Last week was great – the child I have sent out into the world sent me a few lengthy texts, all properly punctuated. He is actually famous for his lengthy and grammatically correct text messages. They sounded like someone happy, excited to be learning, and a little homesick but not too much. I was thrilled with the communication, as well as the test format (free IMessage FTW). It was good.

I didn’t hear from him on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. I resisted the urge to send some text with a pretext (do you need your black shoes f. ex) and decided to let him have his space. I texted him this morning though to see how he was after the weekend. Turns out he has the typical Freshman bug – all those new bugs blending together nicely in the campus petri dish and he had actually been quite miserable. Add to this a roomate in their 3 bed room who had been ‘entertaining’ till 4 AM and things weren’t quite as rose colored.

Maternal instinct wanted to hug him and make sure he was taking steps to get better ASAP. It was NOT NICE not to be able to help. He had already made an appointment at the wellness clinic and promised he was not dying, so I have to let it go.

It’s not like I’m going to fly to New York to make sure he drinks enough fluids. Hurdle crossed.

A perhaps not TOTALLY unexpected result at home is that I am seeing more of the 16 year old. I really enjoy gaming with him, and we get along quite well as long as we don’t talk about school or life plans. Trust me, I don’t ignore those issues either – I know I’m his parent, not his friend. But I am really enjoying his company at the moment.

There you go.

Congratulations on the Legendary MiniStrumpet!

Cograts to the youngest for completing the legendary quest line and getting his cloak!

Really loving raiding and playing with the young man!

Naeemanti Legendary

Cooking for the Boys Always Makes Me Dance.

Sunday morning was, as usual, Achievement Run Day. I think personally I am now missing Seven for the Glory of the Pandaria Hero Meta Achievement and the  Crimson Cloud Serpent that comes with it. Thanks to generous donations from Entitlement Raiders, I have been able to prepare Treasure Noodle Carts with abandon on raid nights. And Abbesh donated so many vegetables this week that I’m afraid I may never use them up! So I tossed up the old noodle cart.

While the dance is certainly festive … it’s not how I TYPICALLY feel in my kitchen cooking for the boys!

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Molsan and I arrived just a minute or two before Pancake at the Stormstout Brewery. Don’t worry; I left the cart up till he could partake :)

Keep Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin Achieved!!

Stormstout Achievement prep cart

To quote Lily Allen: If you can’t detect the sarcasm you’ve misunderstood.

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