About a month ago today, my oldest son told his father and I he was gay. We were having lunch to celebrate (mourn?) his departure for New York the following day – off to start his own life. Neither one of us had seen that coming. But, looking back, we aren’t totally shocked either. Our reaction was pretty much: We just love you and want you to be happy. I was pretty emotional though, and I still get a bit emotional when I think about it. Not because I am in any way sad for the truth of it, nor because I wish it was different. I had/have a mother’s reaction: did you go through this by yourself? How did you cope without a mother to help you through any fears you may have had? I take comfort in knowing that he had a solid group of friends who supported him through this. I do not know of him ever being afraid to be himself. He is a confident young man.
That afternoon and in the days following, I found myself telling every gay friend and relative I have. What is this strange reaction? Why did I feel the need to tell them first? Or at all? I’m not sure. I do know that I am now starting to think that it is akin to calling every blonde friend you have and telling them: wow! my daughter just told me she’s really a blonde!
In a perfect world, at least, that’s how it should be.
Molsan, Pancake, and I showed up bright eyed and bushy tailed at the correct time and polished off the Heroic Stormstout Brewery achievements required for Glory of the Pandaria Raider this morning. Success! We even tossed hammers into the rafters, since Pancake didn’t have that one yet. Actually, Molsan did the hammer tossing. I tried to keep hoplings away from him. With such great success and time to spare, we decided to head to the Jade Temple to give Hydrophobia a go! Woot! There’s a Salty online! We all failed miserably at this one again. I think I might resort to ninjaing it with a PUG.
So, off to Scholomance we go. The Barov Helper failed to help Salty and Pancake get that achievement, but the important thing was to try to get School’s Out Forever. I think I’ll let the pictures speak:
This week, I have made two changes to try to improve my personal quality of life.
1) I am consciously limiting my Twitter presence during the course of the day. I haven’t set any specific rules on this, other than forcing myself to not read EVERY tweet since I was last on (inevitably, this would take close to an hour every morning – sheesh!). Instead I have made a list of 10 people whose Tweets I do not wish to miss, and I check that instead. Also, no checking Twitter while watching a TV program, and never at lunch. This has led to a HUGE reduction of time wasted.
2) I must read for at LEAST 35 uninterrupted minutes a day. I used to read CONTINUALLY. ALL THE TIME. At some point, I lost this. I still read while on vacation, but have a really hard time choosing to read a book or a newspaper/magazine article while at home. So, every day this week, I have set the timer, moved FAR AWAY from my phone or tablet, and read on my Kindle (no social media access on the Kindle). So nice. So so so so nice.
I have other changes I want to make, but, in my experience, making too many drastic changes at once inevitably leads to failure. So these two only for another week at least.
Last week was great – the child I have sent out into the world sent me a few lengthy texts, all properly punctuated. He is actually famous for his lengthy and grammatically correct text messages. They sounded like someone happy, excited to be learning, and a little homesick but not too much. I was thrilled with the communication, as well as the test format (free IMessage FTW). It was good.
I didn’t hear from him on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. I resisted the urge to send some text with a pretext (do you need your black shoes f. ex) and decided to let him have his space. I texted him this morning though to see how he was after the weekend. Turns out he has the typical Freshman bug – all those new bugs blending together nicely in the campus petri dish and he had actually been quite miserable. Add to this a roomate in their 3 bed room who had been ‘entertaining’ till 4 AM and things weren’t quite as rose colored.
Maternal instinct wanted to hug him and make sure he was taking steps to get better ASAP. It was NOT NICE not to be able to help. He had already made an appointment at the wellness clinic and promised he was not dying, so I have to let it go.
It’s not like I’m going to fly to New York to make sure he drinks enough fluids. Hurdle crossed.
A perhaps not TOTALLY unexpected result at home is that I am seeing more of the 16 year old. I really enjoy gaming with him, and we get along quite well as long as we don’t talk about school or life plans. Trust me, I don’t ignore those issues either – I know I’m his parent, not his friend. But I am really enjoying his company at the moment.
There you go.
Sunday morning was, as usual, Achievement Run Day. I think personally I am now missing Seven for the Glory of the Pandaria Hero Meta Achievement and the Crimson Cloud Serpent that comes with it. Thanks to generous donations from Entitlement Raiders, I have been able to prepare Treasure Noodle Carts with abandon on raid nights. And Abbesh donated so many vegetables this week that I’m afraid I may never use them up! So I tossed up the old noodle cart.
While the dance is certainly festive … it’s not how I TYPICALLY feel in my kitchen cooking for the boys!
Molsan and I arrived just a minute or two before Pancake at the Stormstout Brewery. Don’t worry; I left the cart up till he could partake :)
Keep Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin Achieved!!
To quote Lily Allen: If you can’t detect the sarcasm you’ve misunderstood.